I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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