You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
