I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
