Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize
