I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is my gift to your gina
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
