ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
