loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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