so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
