I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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