do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
