I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
