Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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