I could have mohawked her pubes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
