im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
