He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
