The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
