I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
