Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
