I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
