At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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