When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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