i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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