My room smells like vodka and shame
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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