just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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