So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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