Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
