Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
