she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
