Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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