Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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