Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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