i permit you to call me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
