i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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