I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I fill condoms, not promises.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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