It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
