Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
