the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
