Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
