I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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