I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
