? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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