but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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