covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
