bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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