I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
