can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
