She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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