Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
