Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
