Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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