i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
