maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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