Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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