You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
