I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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