Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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