I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh god it's open bar.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
