It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
