I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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