Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
